a hard habit to break

i admit, i am addicted to beauty. i can't help it! i grew up soaking it in like a sponge, watching my mother apply her makeup each morning, scoping the latest fashion and beauty magazines in the checkout line at the grocery store, counting down the days when i would be "old enough" to wear even one ounce of makeup. how funny to think of myself back then.

i was in 5th grade, in a drug store (i really don't remember which one), explaining to my mother my "need" to have a pressed powder compact. she didn't get it, of course. and felt i was too young. i knew very well that i wasn't. after all, my best friend at that time, kathleen, had one, and she was technically younger than me! so in my begging, er, i mean, explanation, i pointed out (and this was the truth) the fact that by the time lunch came around my face was drowning in a pool of oil. i needed help! the only "cure" was a Covergirl Clean Makeup Pressed Powder Compact. she eventually gave in, siting that this was "the only makeup i was allowed to wear".

the years went on, and i added to the pressed powder, mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick. ahhh, i was in makeup heaven! looking back at pictures of myself, i laugh. i had so much to learn!

once again, this time in 7th grade, i was trying to convince my mother that i needed seventeen magazine. "it's so cool mom! it has makeup tips, interviews with my favorite tv stars and, and..." long story short, i got the magazine. this only fueled my obsession with makeup and fashion. i couldn't get enough, and by the time i started high school, i was convinced that no girl, in her right mind, could ever exist without them.

how fitting, then, that my bff, kati, had no desire whatsoever to wear makeup.

for example, in october 1994, i spent an hour on her face, creating the perfect egyption eye makeup to go with her cleopatra costume, only to have her wash it off before it was time to go to a halloween party! and there were many other examples like this with her, but i won't go into that. i will tell you that we are still bff's and she still would rather go without makeup.

as high school went on, my love of products and clothes continued. my makeup bag grew to include products from not only Covergirl, but Clinique, Lancome, Maybelline, Wet N Wild and Revlon.

i've made so many mistakes, too. i've over-tweezed, under moisturized and sometimes went to bed without washing my face. i began coloring my hair as well as straightening it (with an iron of all things!). i embraced "what-was-i-thinking" trends: the babydoll dress (with the baby tee worn under it), bell-bottoms, leggings, big tops with ruffles around the bottom, midriff-baring tops (one of my then favs) and baggy pants (ick). but through it all, the love for all things fabulous and beautiful never died. you have to make mistakes in order to learn, right?

in the years since high school, i've learned new beauty routines and tricks, like how to fake a good night's sleep when your newborn has kept you up all night and the importance of good skincare. heels and dresses are staples in my wardrobe, i have five fashion & beauty magazine subscriptions, and i can tell you the best time to shop for seasonal pieces. it has been a journey of unending grooming (why does hair have to grow back?), fashion mishaps (why did i buy that?), and tens of thousands of dollars spent.

it's not something i would or could give up. i love it too much! although, i do sometimes ask myself why i can't just ease up a bit. i don't need another foundation, lip gloss, shampoo, pair of anything...

what can i say? it's an addiction.


xo