Friday, August 22, 2008

hair therapy: getting over a bad haircut

i suppose it's bound to happen: the bad haircut.

one day, you have hair you love and the next you have a nightmare.

i am in the nightmare.

yes, you read right. me, the one with the beautiful, long thick hair. i have experienced a bad hair cut.

it all happened a couple of days ago, when i went to interview a very well-known celebrity stylist in Beverly Hills (who shall remain nameless for now), and i agreed to let her cut my hair.

now, initially, she wanted to give me a short pixie cut.

ummm, no.

she explained to me that all she saw was my hair and not my beautiful face, and i needed something that would compliment my face.

ok, i get that, but i don't want short hair.

ok was her response.

i told her it would be fine to thin my hair out and add some layers.

oh, she thinned my hair out alright. and gave me so many layers.

now i have a thin, choppy cut. with bangs.

i am so mortified.

this is a stylist who has been featured in Allure magazine as one of the best people to get you hair cut from if you're in L.A.! i trusted her, and now i'm here, contemplating what to do next.

i have plans at the moment, and i will be sharing this entire experience with you. maybe this will help any of you who are currently going through the same thing, know someone going through the same thing, or will be a fabulous source of entertainment.

so, what options does a person have when they get a cut that is just wrong?

first, don't panic.

i should listen to myself. i didn't do this. but i feel a little better today.

secondly, let the stylist know that you are unhappy with it. done.

find out if there is some way to have it fixed. i'm on it.

start massaging your scalp. this stimulates hair growth. oh, you know i'm doing it.

be sure you're getting your vitamins. you can be sure i'm taking mine.

don't wash, brush, or fuss too much with your hair. wear it down as much as possible, but if that isn't possible, wear a hat, headband, or use ponytail holders that are smooth, and won't pull too much on your hair. done.

eat more protein. hair is mostly protein and will be strengthened more if you are getting an adequate amount.

honestly, i'm trying to eat, but right now, i am so upset. when i do eat, it is only foods high in protein.

be sure you're getting enough sleep. oh, i'm trying.

be patient. it will grow back. this is what i keep telling myself. and please don't think i'm being dramatic, but i am anxious beyond myself. in my head i know it's not ok to be feeling like this. but my body isn't getting it. and it's understandable to some degree. this isn't something i ever expected to happen to me. especially not in the setting i was in. so, all i can do is try to focus on what i have to do each day.

with a ponytail and headband in my hair.

stay tuned as i will continue to share my bad haircut with you. and please be nice, i'm like an injured animal right now...



Tammy M said...

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for you! When I first moved to where I live now, I got the worst haircut in the world! I have long hair with long layers...yeah, it was choppy, much shorter than I liked and LOPSIDED!!! I was in tears... thankfully I went to someone who blended my layers out and evened the whole thing out... but I learned my lesson... stick with one stylist if you love them, and never let someone cut your hair if they are already talking about a "vision" they have for your hair and you disagree... it is supposed to be about YOU, NOT THEM!

Anonymous said...

Oh my god!
I'm so sorry to hear this!
That sucks :(

I hope you're doing ok.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that happened to you! It always sucks to get a bad haircut. I couldn't imagine going to someone so well-known and having them destroy my hair.

It will grow back. Good luck!

monique said...

tammy m- thanks...i would love to have the cut correted, but that would mean going shorter, like to my chin...yikes! i'm not ready for that at this point, LOL! i definitely have learned my lesson. i don't care who they are or how famous, i will always just go to my girl here where i live. :)

decrative diva-- thank you, i know i'll be fine with time...i just wish the time would go a little quicker! LOL! :)

anon- yes, it does suck, but i will get through it. thank you for your support. :)

Jamie said...

I'm so sorry! A bad haircut is the worst. But if I know you, you'll find a way to pull through like a champ!

Anonymous said...

Ugh I know exactly how you feel! About four or five years ago I went to a stylist to get a shorter haircut for fall and she went bonkers! All in all she cut off about 12 inches, and to top it I looked like a boy... :( it took three years to grow back. But now about every other day when I get irritated with styling my hair, I just think: "Well, girl, at least you HAVE hair to style..." It'll all work out, you're a beautiful girl, regardless of your hair!

Anonymous said...

Oh honey, I am so sorry! I think a bad hair cut is something we all have a story to share about! It's never fun. Never easy. Sending virtual hugs...I know your pain. It...will...grow... (keep reminding yourself!)

jorien said...

So, how's your hair doing now? I found you when I googled "getting over a bad haircut."

monique said...

jorien-- thanks for's grown out a lot (thankfully my hair grows fast) and it looks quite normal. i'm more comfortable with it now that's for sure. the front is still short, but most of it is below or at my chin. all of my hair is still pretty thin, but that will take some time for it all to gorw in, so i'm just happy i have some length. the back is almost as long as it was before she first cut it-- yay! i plan to do one whole post on my experience in august, "the one year mark" (i think by then i'll be ok to let you all see how i looked...LOL).


Olivia said...

ahh! i also found this post from googling for moral support. Who would take a beautiful head of thick hair and thin the hell out of it? I don't even like my hair in a pony tail because it's so thin now. Gross. It just happened to me yesterday. I know it's only hair, but I'm devastaed. Your post is giving me some hope!

Anonymous said...

I just had the worst haircut of my life! I had really long hair and I was ready for a change. I went somewhere new and brought a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow's hair and asked for that haircut and the hair dresser told me she was over that haircut, so I asked her what she would like to do - BIG MISTAKE!!!
She said that she would cut it to my collarbone and then give me some layers and long bangs. While this was still cutting about 4 inches of hair off the back I was okay with it, however, I should have inquired more about the layers. The layers were horrible and the longest one ended at the bottom of my ear. I ended up having to cut all of my hair to my chin just to blend them in. It's horrible and I hate it and I want my hair back!!!

monique said...

Olivia-- how is your hair looking now? :)

Anon-- ugh, that is so frustrating! i am sending virtual hugs your way-- i know EXACTLY how you feel. it's been over a year now since my experience, but i can still feel my blood pressure rising when i think about it-- hang in there girly, your hair will grow back. :)

Stephanie said...

My hair tragedy happened two days ago. I have been growing my hair out for over 4 years and in a weird way I realize now that it was a bit of a safety blanket for me. I knew I was long overdue for a had been at least a year since any scissors had touched my hair. I went in the salon with hair down to my butt and left with hair that just barely covers my breasts. From the beginning the signs were there...why didnt I listen?

I called to book an appointment at the lovely Aveda Salon I had passed by a million times on the way to work. The reviews online were great and the salon I normally go is almost an hour away. I called and asked to book an appointment with one of the girls I had read about online in positive reviews. Both hairdressers were booked for the day. The receptionist offers to set me up with another lady who she claimed " had over 22 years experience" and would take great care of me. First mistake.. I should have just waited and went with someone I at least read about online. But hey this is an Aveda Salon so what could go wrong? The hiring process has to be thorough right? And for $50 a cut.. it's got to be good! I explained to the receptionist how important my hair is to me, how long I've been growing it, and how I dont want too much taken off the ends.

I show up to my appointment, the salon is beautiful. I take a tour and then I meet the hairdresser. She is very nice, shampoo and scalp massage are great. Again, I explain to her exactly what I want. A trim on the ends and a slight trim on the layers that are already in my hair. She assures me she won't take any more hair off than is absolutely needed to get rid of the split ends. She tells me she understands Im a " hair girl" and she will leave the length. I didnt mind a few inches...I was ok with even 5 or 6 inches. I know I had dead ends but this lady just got scissor happy. An hour and a half and 10 1/2 inches later...I had a short haircut with choppy layers in the front.All she kept saying was " you still have a lot of hair back here". She had to have said it at least 25 times. I felt like she was reassuring herself and not me. I was devistated. And I still am. I paid her and left as fast as humanly possible. The whole way home I kept telling myself " maybe its not that bad....maybe it just seems like a lot...maybe Im just not used to it"..maybe maybe maybe.

But when I got home reality set in. Yes I've cried. Now I just want to get over it and I don't know how. I know its just hair but I feel different without it and I feel lied to and angry. I called the salon the next day hoping for closure. I got a refund and also was offered to come in and see the owner. At this point I won't be going to any salons anytime in the near future.

How long did it take for your hair to grow out? What can I do to just let go of this and accept it. I know the hair isn't coming back but I just cant let it go. Help!

monique said...

oh no, Stephanie! i'm so sorry to hear about your experience. i know exactly how you feel. i went through mourning and it sounds like you are, too!! hair and how we wear it is a big deal and i don't think that every stylist realizes that going from one extreme to another can be devastating.

it took me a few months, honestly, to get to a point that i knew it was just a matter of time that my hair would get back to how it was before. i think it took about 6 months when i started to see a difference, but a year before i even went to a salon. my hair had grown out *significantly* by then, though still not fully, but it at least looked more like how i prefer my hair to be. you can read about that here:

i hope you'll feel better soon!! it will take time. i'm not sure, everyone is different, but i know eventually you'll start to feel better. i'm sending you oodles of hugs and love. take really good care of your hair, and when you're ready, find a stylist who will help you in the growing out process. keep me posted on your progress! xo ~Monique